The Long Haul has to be one of the worst disasters ever to pass through the film industry. Adapted from Jeff Kinney’s phenomenal book this movie brings it down to a whole new low.
I had a lot of issues with this movie but I’ll narrow it down to my two biggest. (If I listed them all I would have to write a novel with many sequels.)
My first dislike about The Long Haul is how poorly written it was. It seemed to be one event after another each one partly a scene from the book plus some extra trash like a few cheesy jokes and some stupid lines. In one scene where Greg’s Mom finds out that Greg and Rodrick sneaked off to a video game convention she says TO THE POLICE “Problem? Yes, I’d like to report a murder at the video game convention in about a half hour.” I’m disgusted. Plus the whole “diaper hands” episodes weaved into the movie was A. idiotic and B. Irreverent to the author and book. It’s just dumb. It’s just so dumb. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
My second hate about this movie was how completely unrealistic the story was. There is no way that the Heffley’s would find their way through the wilderness and suddenly arrive up the hill from their destination. And that Greg would just ride the boat down the hill and into a pool. And there is no way some weird people that Greg has a grudge against would steal their luggage. I’m sorry if I’m whining but all of that completely destroyed the story when put together. It’s like watching America’s funniest videos for an hour and a half. I think I’ll go watch Ishtar, it has to be a better movie than this filth.
All in all as you might have noticed I have no LIKE’s about The Long Haul. In fact I have the complete opposite. I recommend you ignore this disaster and watch something worth your time.
Bye for now!
HuckSTARcritic 