The first ad ever to be aired was on July 1, 1941 and was a picture of a watch with that deep voice voice over guy always on 40’s TV. If you’re to dumb to notice, it advertised watches. Click here to see it.
Ever since than, millions upon millions of ads have been created and shown. And some are truly awful. Not all, like that one where that creepy spider, a metaphor for cigarettes, crawls into all these teenagers mouths. Hey! Don’t smoke, kids.
Anyway, here is what I have to say about TV ads.
Old Cigarette Ads. In 1974, ads endorsing cigarettes were banned. For obvious reasons. However, you can still see some old ones online. Are they campy and stupid. All of them include how sweet tasting their brand is. How fresh their brand is. (Ironic.) Or how much bile you’ll cough up when you’re 75. Nowadays, ads like those wouldn’t fly. Frankly, you’d get some less than desirable phone calls from the F.C.C.
But what is really angering is that in the really old commercials, they even have actors pose as doctors and endorse their product. Like that’s going to go over easy in the long run. Now a days if someone did that, I can assure you about 10 million parents would tear apart the cigarette companies.
The commercials that I just don’t give a _____ about. Like those car commercials where some buff guy who looks like Barbie Ken drives around a car and blabs about how awesome it is.
In one particularly uninspired and stupid one, a bunch of clips of dumb teenagers doing dumb teenager things. And the voice over talks about how great it was when “YOU WERE YOU!” Wow, last time I checked a handful of the teenagers in my town were vaping. I feel so much like I want to buy a trashy car.
Or maybe one of those commercials where someone is talking while a family smiles and laughs. Yay, prescription drugs. It’s so interesting when they show a 15 second long picture of the bottle.
Product? These are the commercials where what their selling is downright stupid. Medicine? Okay, but keep in mind it’ll give you breast cancer and may result in epileptic seizures and severe coughing fits. Food? Fine but take a picture of food from 11 Madison Park and say it’s your own. Electronics? Nobody will notice that it’s scotch taped together.
Like really, what am I going to do with this:
I bet Trump has about 300 of those. I bet that embarrasses poor Baron. But anyway, I’ve made my point.
Forgettable. This is like the one above, except dumbed down. These are the commercials that have a TV announcer talking and then it’s over. What about a middle aged man’s voice is going to make me want to buy a new radiator or something?
We only care about money. We’ve all seen one like this. They don’t care about YOU. But if you buy what their offering, they love you. Take a commercial aired a few years ago where Pandas running a struggling bamboo shop are sad because they might go out of business. Except the pandas talked with heavy and overly stereotyped Asian accents. Wow, I want to endorse your cash grab product NOW.
The good ones. And to end I’m looking at the ads that make you want to buy their product. Maybe have a superstar celebrity, or perhaps are just creative and make you laugh. I’m sorry to say that America is in a commercial depression. Literally. But good commercials are still out there and will still occasionally be aired.