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“Spider-Man: Homecoming” (2017) Review

Final Grade: 6.5/10 (Thumbs Up)

Consumer tips: Rated PG-13 by the MPAA. 133 Minutes Long. Distributed by Sony and Marvel. Starring Tom Holland, Michael Keaton, Zendaya, Jacob Batalon, Robert Downey Jr., and Laura Harrier.————An acceptable Marvel movie but not without it’s fair share of problems. 

Plot copied from Google: “Thrilled by his experience with the Avengers, young Peter Parker returns home to live with his Aunt May. Under the watchful eye of mentor Tony Stark, Parker starts to embrace his newfound identity as Spider-Man. He also tries to return to his normal daily routine — distracted by thoughts of proving himself to be more than just a friendly neighborhood superhero. Peter must soon put his powers to the test when the evil Vulture emerges to threaten everything that he holds dear.”


Well, with that out of the way, let’s begin…

I did like this movie, I did really, but in more ways than one it’s problematic. Anyway, it’s infinite times better than the last movie I reviewed. It’s much, much better than the other Tom Holland movie I reviewed recently, Onward,  which I was far too nice to. I’ll start with the good stuff first because there is a good amount of that.

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I really did like the performances in the movie. Tom Holland does his job passionately as always and all the other performances are on par with his. I particularly like Zendaya’s, but Jacob Batolon almost runs off with the movie. Michael Keaton shines brightly but hey, it’s Michael Keaton. No actor phones in their work, they’re all great.

I was rarely bored in the movie. The pace is fast and lags not too often. The visual effects are stunning but I’d be lying if I said that I couldn’t get the same effect in other action movies. However, they do their job quite nicely and contribute to the intense action scenes. The scene on the Washington Monument is absolutely riveting and so thrilling I was literally on the edge of my seat couch as is the climax. How fun this movie is to watch is what really makes it. It’s very funny, and the action is extremely ridiculous but in a good way. I suggest watching it with friends but we’re in the middle of a worldwide pandemic so please don’t do that.

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Unfortunately, the inept way it handles how it’s supposed to make you feel puts a sizable dent in the film. It’s hard to explain but I’ll try. The point of Spiderman is the balance between being a superhero and a teenager, right? Yes, but good lord is not good at finding that balance and the results are usually painful. Not always, just usually. Take a scene early in the movie. Peter and Ned are in gym class doing pull ups. The room is crowded with people doing likewise but for whatever reason a group of kids are sitting on the bleachers chatting about Spider-man. They wonder who his true identity is, “He’s probably a 30 year old loser,” (that wasn’t verbatim, but along those lines). Ned can’t take it, he yells out “Peter knows Spider-man,” and that gets them invited to a party eventually. It seems so simple but it’s constructed in this cynical way. The language these gossiping twerps use is intended to be as callous as possible so it’ll persuade Ned to kind of blow Peter’s cover. It works but you also feel really bad for Peter. He never gets to live like a normal teenager, every meaningful social interaction gets upended so he can save the city. It hurts to see him have to suck it up and abandon it almost every time. My point is driven home a few scenes later at the party itself. Peter promises he’ll “…bring Spider-man,” with him but he ends up needing to leave to save the city. It ends with everyone at the partly gleefully shouting “Penis Parker, Penis Parker,” again and again. Peter isn’t even there, he’s all the way across town but Ned tells him over the phone and ends the scene by saying “I guess we’re losers again,”. This stings, it really does. The movie feels unsatisfying (sort of) as a result and you can’t help but wonder why Marvel couldn’t just let Peter be a teen every so often instead of carelessly tossing our investment in Peter aside. If you need clarification for this paragraph, just ask.

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The only other problem I have is the subplot involving the villain, it’s pretty dull which clashes with the overall tone of the rest of the movie. Michael Keaton is really good but otherwise…………*yawn*.

It’s a shame because every other aspect of the movie is really great. That’s why I’m still giving this movie a positive review, it made it and it earns it I guess. I recommend it, the good aspects trump the bad ones enough to make this at least semi satisfying. I was just a little frustrated sometimes that’s all. It’s all good fun and this is just my silly little opinion and I must say I’d watch this film again.

Notes and observations:

  • The post credits scene involves…actually I can’t spoil it for you but it’s pretty cool (it’s in the video down below).
  • There is another post credits scene. You see, in the movie there is a running gag where Captain America is stuck giving PSAs for school about detention, drugs I think, etc. He appears in this very brief little scene after the legitimate credits are done rolling, he gives a little speech about the values of patience.
  • Speaking of the credits, right before the first post credits scene, Marvel does the typical credits sequence (before the long, white on black list) where they animated scenes from the movie in paper or whatever while credits appear. I’ve included it below.

 

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The Last Airbender (2010) Review

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Final grade: ‘F’

Consumer tips: Rated PG. 103 minutes including credits. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. An awful live action re-make of the animated TV show ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’. Avoid at all costs!

Plot synopsis. Copied from Google verbatim: “The four nations of Air, Water, Earth and Fire lived in harmony until the Fire Nation declared war. A century later, there is still no end in sight to the destruction, then, an Avatar named Aang (Noah Ringer) discovers that he has the power to control the four elements. He joins forces with Katara (Nicola Peltz), a Waterbender, and her brother, Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), to restore balance and harmony to their world.”


Here are my thoughts…

When I weigh all of the movies I’ve ever seen, some are not going to be as good as others. I’ve seen many, many good movies but on the other side, there are some terrible pieces of cinematic waste that I’ve witnessed from time to time. The Last Airbender is a high contender for the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I haven’t really seen the animated tv show, there is no excuse for why that is now that I have the time, I just never sat down and watched it. This means that I won’t be able to make comparisons to the show based on the movie, but I don’t need to have seen it to realize that this movie has atrocious storytelling, a whitewashed cast (in the show they’re asian) , brick-like acting, pedestrian special effects, an awful script, clumsy camerawork, bland music, choppy editing, a muddy color palette, poorly choreographed action, terrible characterization, lousy directing, uneven pacing, and an overly serious tone.

The actors are all fine people, but they are in the wrong film. Noah Ringer is very talented at martial arts (I could see him working in the stunt department) but his acting is not very good. He tries to be playful but it doesn’t go as planned. Nicola Peltz and Jackson Rathbone are far too serious, not once do any of them smile or show even the most basic of emotions. Jackson Rathbone mopes around in a bad mood for almost the entire film and Nicola Peltz looks confused. Dev Patel plays Prince Zuko and I’m sorry to say that his performance is inexcusable. Unlike Ringer, Peltz, and Rathbone, he just does not care. Why is he even playing an emotionally complex anti-hero? He’s Dev Patel, he is a comedian. I really feel sorry for the actors. They are all nice people without any direction to cling to doing their best but clearly in the wrong movie with the wrong director. I brought up that in the show, all the characters are asian, this makes the casting even worse. Why couldn’t the studio have hired an ethnically diverse cast? Why are the hero’s white while the villain and his army Indian? WHY???!!!

The storytelling is on the same level as the acting and character development. In a 2010 interview, M. Night Shyamalan explained why the critics hate his movies: “They never got me, and it’s getting worse, their like-and it’s almost like, go away!…I’ve always had a European sensibility to my movies so the pacing is always a little bit off for them…they need more electricity and I’m like-this is the way I think of things.” I don’t know how I think of that. It’s true that the movie is long and BORING but the pacing is way too fast. The characters move from place to place at lightning speed and reach the final destination of the movie at around 50 minutes in. The movie drags, my god does it drag. Even if they spend not much time at each location, they wallow through mundane conversations, telling and repeating facts to the audience that should have been shown, not told. It’s tiring and uninvolving and when the emotional moments roll around, you feel empty. Movies are supposed to give you an emotional experience but this one fails to deliver everywhere.

Oh yes, let us not forget about the script. It is, you guessed it, terribly bland and taped together. Characters ramble on and on in the most tedious ways possible. Stating facts the Wikipedia page could’ve told me. None of the characters are the least bit interesting and M. Night Shymalan’s pompous attitude that he displayed in the interview mentioned above shines through. The movie takes itself so seriously. The 2 times they try to make a joke, they pass right through you without leaving so much as a chuckle. This movie, as I said, is emptier than the stadium during Trump’s Tulsa rally.

On a technical side, the movie is a complete mess. In one crucial battle sequence, Shymalan thinks it’s best to do it almost in one continuous shot. As a result, a lot of the fighters just stand around confused while they wait for a turn to take a swing at Aang. It’s also a murky looking place they fight in. It’s very dark and gloomy and not very interesting. I brought up the special effects being pedestrian and I stand by that. They didn’t dazzle or surprise me in the slightest, they barely did their job, and they ran the gamut from dull to oh my god, that looks terrible (see below).

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The editing is choppy, the music is weak, and the camerawork hardly acceptable. Really, it’s a coin flip whether they’re going to point it at the right place and make it look good.

This movie was as Roger Ebert put it “…agonizing…”. I can’t disagree there. This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen I think. I struggle to think of one positive thing about it. It’s an absolute travesty. There is something wrong in every scene and nearly every shot. Avoid this train wreck at all costs!

Extra notes and observations:

  • One crucial emotion moment between Katara and Sokka is ruined by someone in post production playing the most obnoxious sound effect of an animal moaning that I’ve ever heard. Why couldn’t they have saved it until they were done talking? WHY???!!! 
  • In the same interview I mentioned earlier, Shymalan said that in Europe he is considered a genius. Mr. Shymalan, there is no shame in making a bad film, but please don’t say stuff like that.
  • He also mentioned that all of his films have been panned. Not true. Maybe he is just really out of touch:

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The Last Airbender got not so great reviews:

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  • “He was bending tiny stones at us from behind a tree, it really hurt!” -Some guy in the film. That line of dialogue made me slap my face in disgust.
  • Anyway, here is the trailer and Shymalan interview:

 

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On the Topic of Zoom. Yes I Can Review Websites Now.

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Final Grade: ‘C+’

A blog post about…Zoom? Yes, I’ve never reviewed a website before, so why not review the website we’ve all used a million times and have used so much that the chime it makes when you log on is haunting our nightmares. I actually used “Google Meets” for school but I’m no stranger to Zoom which will probably be the #1 website for 2020 which is not much of an honor. I can’t wait until 2021 rolls around (said no one ever) but I digress. I use Zoom for personal and family related meets and, Zoom is okay. It’s not awful. It has aspects that work and others that are not fully realized. It’s like Safari . I know that Zoom is kind of like the punchline to a lot of jokes, but it does it’s job. I’ve never reviewed a website before so I guess I’ll start with the virtual backgrounds.

I always thought they were kind of gimmicky. Maybe it’s just the background that I always sit in front of, but when I turn it on it looks like all my orifices are bleeding out the picture that’s supposed to behind me and there is always that fuzzy black line around me. It’s hard to describe but this picture captures it in the best way I could find:

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Well, I tried.

Frankly, I don’t do it anymore. It feels kind of…well there is no better term for it but gimmicky. I did have some fun with this background, but then I realized that there was not really any point except for a cheap laugh:

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I couldn’t find the exact picture (it’s on another device), but this is basically what it looked like. I flipped it as well because that is how the picture looks.

Usually I find a cozy or nice place to sit and carry on with the meeting.

People say that part of what makes a software great or terrible is how people use it. Ever notice how during calls (I speak for Google Meets) there is always that one guy who goes “Well this is unprecedented,” or “Can you really believe that we’re doing this?” and everyone else nods along. That trend is slowing down for obvious reasons but almost everyone was doing it back in March and April. This post has quickly become me making fun of Zoom but I continue nonetheless. There is usually someone who turns off their camera because they don’t want to show their face. I’ve done that admittedly. I show my face frequently but in the beginning it was just so easy to flop down onto the couch and just talk without routinely checking how you look in the corner. I always take a while to set up where I’m going to sit, always looking for the best angle and the coziest space. There are a couple of spaces that I go to frequently but my new favorite is sitting perpendicular to the front of the refrigerator. HEY! I LIKE THE WALL PATTERN THERE AND IF I’M TIRED I CAN LEAN UP AGAINST THE FRIDGE. I think it’s human nature to act presentable and no where is that more apparent than when everyone is inside your house.

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Everyone is always yelling at other people to mute themselves because no one knows how sensitive the microphones are. Once I was typing quietly in the chat but it was still too loud and I got yelled at. Oh yes, the chat. Everyone posts emojis and whatnot in it, it’s really annoying. Also let us not forget how when 2 people talk at the same time they both turn to each other and go “No, you can go.” Another thing I’m guilt of, maybe I do it a little too commonly.

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It’s funny that Zoom caught on in the way that it did. Not like Google Meets or FaceTime which kind of went under the radar but it kind of exploded. That’s because it appeals to people. Haven’t you ever seen someone jump at the idea of “touching up their appearance”. It’s because people want to be presentable in a way more than ever and there is something so off about doing it in your house and not in person. Personally I think the “touching up your appearance” feature makes me look like I’m glowing (not good) but I always keep it on. Zoom is set up and marketed well, despite it not being great overall. One thing that I will give it credit for is that it brings people together and even if it’s kind of hokey and not always fun, that’s something to smile about. It’s more fun to do it with family members but I’m sure people have had good experiences with coworkers. I’ll admit that 8.5/10 of the Google Meets I went to at school were kind of fun.

Okay, bye. I’m not sure I’ll review a website again but I had fun riffing on this one.

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Take your pick. I don’t know what that means but do it anyway.

 

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Sky High (2005) Quick Review

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Final grade: 6/10

Consumer tips: Rated PG. 102 minutes. Distributed by Disney. Passable, mildly entertaining fluff. Only marginally a negative review. I still recommend it. 

Plot. Copied from Google verbatim: “At a school in the sky where teens learn how to be superheroes, Will Stronghold (Michael Angarano) lands in a class for students who show special promise. Classmate Gwen (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) quickly cozies up to Will, but it’s soon clear that she has other motives. When he learns that Gwen’s mother is a villain who was defeated by his father, Steve Stronghold (Kurt Russell), Will realizes that Gwen is aiming for revenge, and he rushes to a school dance in the hope of stopping her.”


Similarly to Onward, it’s completely fine if you like this movie. This is just my opinion. 

Sky high is one of those sleepy summer films that Disney was stamping out one by one in the early 2000s. It is like a Disney sitcom with more effort put behind it and funnier jokes. That being said, it’s not masterpiece and can get kind of hokey. Fortunately, I was hardly ever bored and it went by quickly and painlessly.

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Originality is hardly something Sky High excels at. The story beats come one by one in the most predictable of ways but it’s elevated by clever writing. Mostly. There are some real groaners but the genuine funny writing makes up for that. The A list actors here pour their heart and soul into their roles and it’s pretty funny to watch at times. From time to time, your token Disney sitcom jokes crop up and this movie’s remarks about high school are not as funny as it wishes. Fortunately, it is funny and clever and worth repeated viewings a fair bit I suppose.

At times the movie feels overdone. In every scene there is one or more special effects and they do look silly sometimes. One little thing I didn’t like, in some scenes they use the title card to wipe the screen (essentially they use it as a transition from one scene to another). They’re not as grating as they could be but like some of the jokes, they’re hokey.

In the end I recommend this movie. The sweet and funny parts are only barely enough to cover up the flaws but I think it’s a guilty pleasure. I can see why people would love it, it’s just not my favorite film.

Extra notes and observations:

  • “So in the end, my girlfriend became my arch enemy, my arch enemy became my best friend, and my best friend became my girlfriend. But hey, that’s high school.” -Will Stronghold.
  • I kind of like the plot twist.
  • “I went through puberty twice – for this?” -Gwen. I don’t know what the writers were thinking with this line, but I like it.
  • Now that I think about it. There were a lot of lines that I liked in this movie.

 

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Mickey Mouse and the Haunted House (1929) Review

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Final grade: B+

Wiki page link: Here is the Wikipedia page link.

Okay, I’ll begin. I’ve been having a hard time writing new posts (I got one out yesterday) but here you go. This cartoon was actually kind of creepy, and it’s an old Disney cartoon. Doesn’t Disney do the cute stuff while Fleischer Studios does the creepy, jazzy, and satirical stuff? Well, for 3 cartoons Disney abandoned that (I’ll cover those other 2 in the future).

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The Haunted House is not jazzy or satirical, but it is rather creepy in the beginning. In stark contrast to Fleischer, the lack of music at the beginning makes it creepier. Some scenes are a little terrifying like when the hooded skeleton advances on Mickey in an empty room quietly and steadily. The music is minimal and most of it is standard for a Disney picture of this period. Throughout the entire thing there are sound effects though, for better or for worse.

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Unlike Fleischer, Disney doesn’t go the extra mile and the cartoon becomes essentially a Silly Symphony at the end, albeit a kind of creepy one. If Disney had gone all the way, it would’ve been one of their most unique cartoons. They go far enough to make it enjoyable, and far enough that it got pulled from theaters when it was released (for rather tame reasons by today’s standards, a chamber pot joke), but they settled for cuteness which diminishes it’s effectiveness. I still recommend it, but I know what I really like thank you.


 

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Onward (2020) Review. The Newest Pixar Film.

 

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Final Grade: 5/10 (Thumbs Down)

Consumer tips: Rated PG. 102 minutes. A kind of tepid family/comedy movie by Pixar (creators of Toy Story). 

NOTE: If you like this film, that’s okay. I can see why you might. These are just my thoughts. 

Plot synopsis. Copied from Google: “Teenage elf brothers Ian and Barley embark on a magical quest to spend one more day with their late father. Like any good adventure, their journey is filled with cryptic maps, impossible obstacles and unimaginable discoveries. But when dear Mom finds out her sons are missing, she teams up with the legendary manticore to bring her beloved boys back home.” They also forgot a subplot involving a giant stone dragon that’ll take over the world if Ian and Barley bring Dad back to life with the Phoenix Gem.


It’s not that Onward is a bad movie, it’s not disastrous and not as bad as it could’ve been. It’s mediocre for the majority of the film with occasional moments of brilliance but they’re not strong enough to overpower the long, mundane, and even annoying stretches. It’s kind of a shame considering all the amazing things Pixar has done in the past. It’s also Pixar’s biggest box office bomb. It’s no one’s fault, Covid-19 really brought down ticket sales and on a budget of around 200 million dollars, Onward grossed about 103 million despite coming in number one on the weekend it was released.

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Now I’m just beating around the bush. How is Onward? I’ve stated it’s mediocre, but why? I’ll start with the animation. The animation itself is quite lively at times, the backgrounds are gorgeous and even a little bit surreal at times. Unfortunately, it gets stuck in that grey area where it doesn’t know whether it should look like a fantasy world or L.A. The character designs are best on the elves. The other characters are a mixed bag I think. Some look really good, others look like human characters that they turned a different color and stretched a little bit. The backgrounds make up for that though.

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The story is interesting (see above and below) but the characters are mediocre. Tom Holland’s Ian is a stuttering wimp but his voice acting makes Ian a likable stuttering wimp. Chris Pratt as Barley can be funny, but only when he’s acting chill (see The Manticore). The voice acting is great with only a couple exceptions. The Manticore is simply too unhinged for this film. Octavia Spencer is a good actor, but The Manticore can be a little irritating and the character design is not one of Pixar’s best.

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The story, ah yes the story. The idea of getting to see a dead family member for one more day is sweet and the emotional moments hit, but not hard. Many of the cliched moments are touched upon but the fantasy elements are so enthralling that it almost makes up for the token story. Not quite, still not quite. The movie meanders (like this blog post!) I’m sorry to say and the trope in animated movies of a character not having a parent is as old as time itself and opening and closing a movie with a narration is a hallmark of 21st century children’s movie and TV.

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In the end, I don’t think Onward is a movie for me. I didn’t think it was as funny or endearing as other Pixar films and many of little things Pixar is great at (eg. character design) is lost. I thought it to be generic, but entertaining. A lot of people like it and I can’t blame them. Onward just wasn’t my film but it’s great if you like it! I thought it was blasé.

Extra notes and observations:

  • I’m impressed that Pixar is introducing LGBTQ characters and characters from different ethnicities. In one scene it’s implied that a police officer is lesbian, “I need to get home to my girlfriend,”. It feels a little calculated at times like the characters are just there to round out a scene, but aside from that it’s good what Pixar is doing.
  • For the record, Disney/Pixar lost 125 million dollars on Onward despite a strong opening weekend. According to Box Office Mojo, it’s theatrical run could be as short as 2 weeks. On the last day of it’s release, it barely made 30,000 dollars. You can check out the box office numbers here if you’re interested. It’s not pretty.

Stay healthy and I’ll see you soon!


 

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Minnie the Moocher (1932) Review

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Final Grade: ‘A’. 

And so friends, we reach the end of the Cab Calloway trilogy. 3 exceptional works in the field. Minnie the Moocher isn’t much different, except the humor in it is much darker. It’s not like the others were clean and perfect, but Minnie the Moocher is more centered around ghosts and death and monsters.

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The premise is pretty simple. Betty Boop’s parents aren’t “sweet” to her anymore so she runs away from home with Bimbo the Dog and they end up in a cave where a dancing ghost walrus with the voice of Cab Calloway sings Minnie the Moocher with the help of his background singers, being the other ghosts or monsters in the cave. Did I say the premise was simple? The first half of the cartoon is nothing too special but it has it’s moments. There is a talking tissue and a flower dies when it eats Betty’s parents food. Perhaps this is the weirdest out of all 3. I think it might be. The second half is when it picks up and starts to get really weird.

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The animation is not on par with the rest of the series but that’s because it’s the oldest. The ghosts look great but Betty Boop is ready for a fresh coat of paint. Bimbo looks really good though and so does the walrus. Oh, that Walrus. Cab Calloway’s danced moves are rotoscoped (when live action film is traced over into animation) to great effect. They also used this technique in Betty Boop’s Snow White and The Old Man of the Mountain . Some of it looks weird, but thats okay.

As usual, the music is really good. The background score is lively and I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but it has Cab Calloway. It has a beautiful musical flourish in the very beginning which is one of my favorites. It also opens with a live action segment involving Cab Calloway and his orchestra like in The Old Man of the Mountain.

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Minnie the Moocher maybe isn’t the best one, but it’s really a joy. I don’t want to say it’s a guilty pleasure because it isn’t but it’s a real pleasure. I’m not going to leave the Wikipedia page because it doesn’t have anything I haven’t told you. Except this: Calloway was so amused with being rotoscoped into a walrus that he fell to the floor laughing. So there!


 

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The Old Man of the Mountain Review (1933)

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Final Grade: ‘A’, almost A+. 

There are certain pieces of media from people’s childhood that, looking back, are pretty weird or raunchy or whatever. The Grimm’s fairy tales are like that and Roald Dahl books usually end with the villains (usually grownups) dead. Betty Boop is part of a lot of people’s childhood as well and as I’ve discussed, her cartoons are pretty weird. There is nothing wrong with that at all, that’s what makes them so great. That brings me to The Old Man of the Mountain. It is the final of the Betty Boop cartoons featuring Cab Calloway. It’s the 2nd one I’ve reviewed and tomorrow I’ll get to the final one, Minnie the Moocher.  I might even get to it today, but that’s doubtful. 2 posts in one day is pretty hard and I have schoolwork.

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Anyway, The Old Man of the Mountain is the most adult out of the 3. It was so adult that it got lambasted by “The Hays Code” and back then, you didn’t want that. For those of you who don’t know, The Hays Code was a Right-Wing Christian organization that focused on censoring movies and media, they tried to make them acceptable for audiences but ended up making them all quite boring. They forced the Fleischers to bench Bimbo the Dog and Koko the Clown and had Betty Boop’s skirt lowered to her knees. They also cut jazz out of the cartoons and suggested that the Fleischers create cartoons based on Pudgy the Dog, or Grampy. They were pretty boring. The Old Man of the Mountain is the last of the cartoons before The Hays Code took over and it’s quite an interesting experience.

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It involves a town of anthropomorphic animals fleeing from a crazy giant that lives at the top of a mountain. The man in question is a sex offender or at least it’s implied. Don’t worry, nothing graphic happens in the cartoon at all and much of it is okay for kids. He and Betty perform a musical number together.

The animation is, as usual, great. Each character walks differently, establishing their personality better. The backgrounds are sparse but, as I mentioned, it’s held up by great character animation. The owl at the beginning is my favorite. If you’re using a laptop, you can pause it and go through it frame by frame by pressing the period or comma keys, if you’re using YouTube.

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It’s the music that really makes this short though. Depending on who you ask, this has the best music of all 3 of the Cab Calloway cartoons. The Old Man of the Mountain is really catchy and the cartoon is opened with a live action video of Cab Calloway and his orchestra. As usual, Cab Calloway’s voice is amazing. Wow!!!

This cartoon is almost a masterpiece. Too bad The Hays Code had to step in. Who knows what other great stuff Cab Calloway and the Fleischers could’ve produced. The Old Man of the Mountain and Cab Calloway’s other films here are inspirations for my work personally. I draw outside as write. Wiki Page.

It’s not as bad as it looks. NOTHING GRAPHIC HAPPENS!


 

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Betty Boop’s Snow White (1933) Review

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Final Grade: Somewhere between ‘A’ and ‘A+’. 

What makes Betty Boop’s Snow White great? Well, a lot does. I’ve probably mentioned that I am a fan of Fleischer Studios work. Naturally, this isn’t an exception. Some things you should know about this work in particular: It is one of 3 Fleischer cartoons to feature vocals by Cab Calloway, it’s in the public domain, and does that animation look good to you? Yes, well it was animated by one man over a 6 month period. I’ll stop beating around the bush and get to the cartoon.

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Disney’s Snow White is beautiful in it’s own right and way as is this. In this world the Fleischer’s have built around the classic fairy tale, everything is fair gain but the world-building never is sloppy or unfocused. The surrealism makes this one so great. Characters transform into ghosts or witches (with the help of a magic mirror), they dance and slide across the screen in front of macabre backgrounds.

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Wedded with the surrealism is the music. The beginning is usual for a Fleischer cartoon and not anything too special. Then, as Betty Boop’s ice coffin she becomes trapped in arrives at the dwarves, Koko the Clown  begins to sing St. James Infirmary Blues with the voice of Cab Calloway. He also turns into a ghost. What a voice he has though! It really makes the cartoon and the idea to have him sing that song over Betty Boop being in the coffin is kind of genius. It’s at least satirical.

What a trip this was! But a really pleasant one at that. I highly recommend this one and as usual I’ll give links to the Wiki page and the original video. Wiki Page.


 

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Poor Cinderella (1934) Review

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History: Poor Cinderella is a 10 minute long, 1934 Betty Boop cartoon by the Fleischer Brothers Studio. It is the first Fleischer cartoon to be made in color (Cinecolor was the process). It was released on August 3, 1934 to be exact. It is a retelling of Cinderella starring Betty Boop. 

There is an inherent appeal to the old Fleischer cartoons to me. I like them in the same way I like (and many others as well) The Rocky Horror Picture Show. While Disney cartoons of the era were upbeat and focused on mad-cap misadventures, Fleischer cartoons were dark, surreal, dealt with The Great Depression, sexuality, and, according to Wikipedia, German Expressionism. I can respect both studios for their work, but Fleischer cartoons appeal to me much more.

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Poor Cinderella is no exception. Perhaps it’s not as good as Minnie the Moocher or Betty Boop’s Snow White, but it’s still ‘A’ worthy good. I’ll review those 2 another day. Poor Cinderella is beautiful to look at. It is sparing with it’s color palette to create the feel it’s going for. The painting is perfect and the backgrounds are lush and lavish. Many of them are live action, done on a turntable, with the cels animated overtop. The animation is smooth, and the characters for the most part are good. The 2 sisters are a little weird looking, and the prince looks the color of earwax sometimes, but I’m willing to forgive and those are the only not so great ones. It’s hardly noticeable. I’ve also included a photo gallery down below of the best shots from this particular episode.

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As with every Fleischer cartoon, the music is great. Poor Cinderella, sung thrice I believe, is charming and catchy. The score is fine as well. A pleasant experience to listen to overall. The story is simple and on paper doesn’t deviate too much from the Disney version, but it’s done in it’s own style which overturns that fact.

It’s charming, dazzling, gorgeous, weird (Betty keeps a cage of mice in her basement, as you do), and pleasant. I highly recommend it. Final Grade: ‘A’. 


 

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Ready Player One Book and Movie Review

I’ve been putting this one off for awhile now. For a long time, I just didn’t know how I felt about either of these creative works. Now I do so let’s go.

Plot, copied from Google:  “In 2045 the planet is on the brink of chaos and collapse, but people find salvation in the OASIS: an expansive virtual reality universe created by eccentric James Halliday. When Halliday dies, he promises his immense fortune to the first person to discover a digital Easter egg that’s hidden somewhere in the OASIS. When young Wade Watts joins the contest, he finds himself becoming an unlikely hero in a reality-bending treasure hunt through a fantastical world of mystery, discovery and danger.” 

The Book: Ready Player One the book is not the worst thing ever to happen. It doesn’t suffer from as many as the same problems as the movie because, being a book, it’s a lot more simple. That being said, it’s problematic at times, uneven at others, just kind of a chore to read at times. It suffers from having an irritating main character most of all. Wade Watts is his name and he is insufferable to have to listen to at times. At the end of the book he kind of goes through an arc that kind of redeems him but his obsession with the 1980s (because his hero, James Halliday, see above, likes it), and constant nihilism about society. He isn’t constantly this bad, bearable at times, but it’s grating to hear him rag on and on about nothing. He is not the worst character ever, okay at times at guess, but his long speeches are obnoxious. Wade runs the gamut from nice, to dull, to creepy. It’s a shame because the supporting characters are okay.

Aside from that, the book isn’t anything special. It’s average fare for a snow day maybe, or a rainy day during a pandemic. It has too many villains and has a depressing vibe throughout. I recommend it, it’s dumb fluff and many people will enjoy it and I can’t say I didn’t enjoy reading it. My grade: ‘B’

The Movie: The movie strays from the book frequently for better or for worse. It’s amazing the same guy who directed E.T. directed this though. It is a real mixed bag. The environments that the characters walk around in when they’re inside the “OASIS” are gorgeous but the characters move like plastic puppets and overall look like that too. The movie has more problems than the book. Even if the animation is good the movie is flashy and contrived and there are about half a million plot holes. It has a couple of inspired pop culture references but those are few and far between. I found the part where they walk around in the movie the Shining to be entertaining but lazy as each reference is listed off one by one. Like look, Aech (Wade’s friend) tries to ride the elevator but blood comes pouring out like in the movie. Or look, those 2 creepy girls ask Aech to come play and he asks them for directions because that’s not something you would do. HAHA!!! I have to give credit to the creators for re-creating the original set though. Note: Wades is the same character wise here as he is in the book.

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Overall, Ready Player One the movie is a disappointing mess that panders to online gamers and desperately tries to be cool. Eventually, it just becomes a game of spotting the reference. People might enjoy it for being dumb fluff but I can’t recommend it. My Grade: ‘C’ I’m sorry, watch movies like these instead:

Just to name a few. I included the trailer below.


 

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Cats Movie Review

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My grade: D-          Almost an ‘F’ except for a couple minor positives, see below. Strap in folks, this is a real hairball of a flick.

It has been a while hasn’t it. We all have a lot of time on our hands now, so we might as well watch Cats as I did last Monday. On that particular day, I was sick. Not with the Coronavirus, just with a stomach bug I swear. Because it’s tradition to do so for me, I watched a bad movie. You know The Emoji Movie, I was sick when I watched and reviewed that. But on to Cats, I hope to give my own take on the movie.

This film is terrible. For one thing, the design of the cats themselves is not good. On some of them you can see where the cut out the actors face and put it onto a CGI body. They’re constantly naked and they look creepy. The worst offender is probably this cat while the most bearable is probably Taylor Swift’s cat, the one above:

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It is clear that a lot of effort went into the sets, the creators even built scaled up copies of regular household items, like chairs and garbage cans. Too bad they had to mess it all up by adding pointless CGI that distracts from the scene and…mice…with…children’s…faces?!?! The do the same for cockroaches, and Rebel Wilson’s cat eats them! It’s not necessarily bad, but the character designs are just creepy enough to turn any sane person off. Speaking of the character designs, they fluctuate rapidly in size. Sometimes being cat size, sometimes being meerkat size, but never being consistent.

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May I also say, this film is very boring. There is almost no plot and it’s filled with nonstop singing. I know it’s based on a musical, but it gets tiring. Just when you think they’re going to take a break, they sing a reprise. While the sets they walk around in are lavish and…………………..pretty, there are only like, 5 that they actually go to. Such exotic locations like, a dark alley, train tracks, house, ball room, and a boat for about 3 minutes each time. Each cat gets a song. About the names, I don’t really know what they are. I thought Taylor Swift’s cat was named Victoria, but no, it’s Bombulurina. I suppose the names are cute like Jennyanydots, or Bustopher Jones or Old Deuteronomy.

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This film is also very weird. There is one scene where a cat descends from the ceiling on a couch shaped like a moon and sprinkles cat nip on everyone there, this causes them to moan in a very provocative way, not going to lie. If I had a penny for every time one of those scenes happened, I’d have 15 maybe, I kind of lost attention.

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There were good things about this movie I suppose. The opening song was catchy and the use of colors was pretty I suppose, even if they only used yellow, red, black, and pink, no green. Unfortunately, this movie was off putting from the first frame when they showed a CGI picture of a real cat dissolving out of a cloud while they blasted shrill synthesizer music. All the way through, all you want is to slip out and run. When I went in, I thought this movie would at least be fun to watch. It wasn’t, I’m sorry. Remember when the trailer first dropped, my first thought was- “This is just a bad trailer. The movie will probably be okay.” I was wrong. I feel bad for the creator Andrew Lloyd Webber, I think he’s all right. Anyway, it must be hard seeing your creation get ruined. I don’t feel bad for Tom Hooper, he’s kind of a jerk. I hope one day Webber can take his talents and invest them in another place and I’m sure they’re a little tired and depressed from all the hate this movie has gotten. This film is a real bad egg. Oh, sorry, I should end on a cat pun shouldn’t I? Okay, it is mew-serable.

Note: I edited my original post after I learned about what Tom Hooper is like in the workplace. He’s pretty awful. Read the article that I linked, you’ll find it informative. I apologize for the inconvenience. I also added a rating to the movie and the trailer down below. Two things I forgot in my original review. Stay healthy y’all! 🙂


 

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The Best And Worst Films I Saw In 2019

Let’s start with worst to get it out of the way. It wasn’t fun so I’ll try to be quick.

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Worst: North. 1994. By Rob Reiner and Alan Zweibel. Rated PG. Grade: D

Kathy Bates is in brown face, she plays an Inuit, see below. If that didn’t turn you off this movie don’t worry, there is more to come. There is at least 1 or 2 things in every scene that’s incredibly off putting whether it be an AWFUL joke or stereotypes. The characters are either bland or the most beaten to death stereotypes you could imagine. Hey, a Texan girl is named “Mary Betsy Lou,”, never seen that before. Also this:

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Also this movie has some really creepy overtones like a 50 year old guy trying to shoot North (that’s the kid’s name) and a 10 year old getting a massage with Jon Lovitz. Bruce Willis is also the Easter Bunny who follows North wherever he goes, and near the end of the movie he tells North to stay out of Miami because it’s too hot, he follows that up with-“Your balls stick to your legs like crazy glue!” You know, kid stuff. It would take forever to name them all but if I had the space I would, I did tell you that I’d try to be quick. Throughout the movie, poor Elijah Wood has this expression that just screams-“Get me out of this flick,” and if you aren’t feeling the same way while watching this, I suggest getting checked out. I’m going to wrap this up but here are some are other problems with the movie:

-Tries to hard to be whimsical

-Wasted all star cast

-Appallingly bad jokes

-Lousy editing

-Dull cinematography. Need I go on? See the trailer here. Here’s the Siskel and Ebert Review


Best: Pinocchio. 1940. By Hamilton Luske and Ben Sharpsteen at Disney. Rated G. Grade: A

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This is probably one of my favorite films ever and not just the best movie I saw last year. It has amazing visuals that challenge Pixar today even with it’s rich colors, shadows and detail as well as the multiplane camera. Scenes like Pinocchio trapped in Stromboli’s wagon are perhaps the best put to screen. This movie has a dark story as well and proves to be very challenging to not just kids but everyone even today. It has a lively score and plenty of graceful musical views for good measure. It is a must see on so many levels. It is a technical achievement, it has a story for the ages I dare even say, charming characters as well as well written villainous ones, and unbelievable music. You have to see this movie. Here’s a scene that sums up my thoughts about it.


 

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Bridge to Terabithia Movie (2007) Review

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Final Grade: 1.5/4

Well, I’m back here again. I know my negative reviews are less popular but yesterday I reviewed Jojo Rabbit so today I’ll treat myself, sorry, you’re welcome to stop reading. Yes, I will be comparing this to Jojo Rabbit and I’ll be giving some praise (mostly to Jojo Rabbit again but also to the original book) too so get comfortable. Now let’s go. Here’s a link to the Wiki page which will explain the plot better than I can.

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This is a very lackluster film. I’ll start from the top. It has pedestrian special effects (aside from a 2d sequence at the beginning). They’re mostly used for the creatures in Terabithia, but they all look extremely shoddy and dirty for a Disney film and they frequently dip into the uncanny valley. I know it’s kids imagining things in 2007 but they bounce between kind of looking like they’re there and not.  Among other things to note, whenever they show the kingdom of Terabithia, it’s always a still image, the waterfalls in the background don’t even move, but the second time they showed it, the editors at Disney probably went- “We don’t want to look lazy!” -so they put some moving birds on top.

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Quickly here, the pacing is very, very bad. It takes until act three before any real conflict actually happens and about a quarter of the way through act three at that. From what I remember the book didn’t have this problem. Not so many derivative scenes among others that drag…on…forever. Another thing to note is that we only see Leslie’s parents two or three times, I wouldn’t have minded to get to know them a little more because some interesting dialogue we could have heard when they’re all painting a room is drowned out by a pop song so they get about ten lines each. Aw!

What really gets me is the writing and acting. Now I can connect it to Jojo Rabbit and I know it came out 12 years after this but it’s a really good way to show how to do it right and how to do it wrong. Anyway, both are awful. I know, mainly they’re kids but Jojo Rabbit had great acting (you don’t think you could give them just a little more coaching before filming, I have nothing wrong with the kids, I still am one), also almost all the grownups were terrible as well. Actually, the child acting was great in comparison to the adults, maybe I’m being too harsh. It’s just hard to see everyone stumble through their lines in the way they do.

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It’s not like what they do get to read is any Shakespeare anyway. Being Disney, the creators make references to the internet every so often but everyone talks and acts like they’re in the ’70s, like the book. One kid says “dead meat,” at least four times throughout the movie and another one says this genius line to Jess: “Beep beep. Beepbeepbeepbeep! You what that is? My loser detector.” You know Disney, in the 1970s kids insults weren’t this tame, people were still mean. It also brings me to another problem, hurray. No kid acts like a kid. I remember they spent three minutes swinging on a rope and they play music so whimsical and saccharine it made me ache. It’s one big nostalgia trip for the writers but the audience will either be enchanted or irritated. For me it was the latter. Leslie’s parents are obnoxious and Leslie herself gets so engrossed in their imaginary game it gets scary. The story with Jess’s family is incredibly hammy and on the nose. Also, guess what song they sing in class when Leslie comes in and Jess is unsure about being her friend? The answer to that is ‘Why can’t we be friends?’ See it by clicking here.  POTENTIAL SPOILER: Jojo Rabbit and the original book dealt with loss but they didn’t do it this poorly (that’s not in relation to the video, I just needed to say that.)

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So what did I like about the movie? Act three. It’s better handled and I was almost moved, it does have it’s cringe worthy moments like Jess dumping paint into the river or the song they sing the next day: ‘I just want to let go!’ I think. It’s more realistic and for once it doesn’t talk down to the audience. Another thing to note, the film is very pretty look at. It isn’t a technical marvel but at least it looks interesting. One more thing, the creators at least put some effort into this project and for some people, it payed off. I don’t think so, it might be fun to riff on but this is a very bad movie. Those three things that I just mentioned save it from a one out of four but I suggest watching, again, Jojo Rabbit or reading the original book. Both do these concepts better and are a lot more fun. Steer clear of this, you’ve been warned.

Extra notes: 

  • There is a lot of blatant product placement here. In the video that I left a link to, Leslie offers Jess Juicy Fruit Gum. I’m sure that and the big helping of Minute Made orange juice Jess had at breakfast filled up some executive’s wallets over at Disney.
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Not particularly subtle. 
  • In one scene, Jess, his sister May Bell, and Leslie have a talk about religion. Could be interesting or dare I say even challenging. Some contrasting ideas here. Unfortunately, it’s safe, unchallenging and ends on the line- “I don’t think God goes around d****** people to hell. He’s to busy running all this!” -Leslie Burke
  • While playing the game in Terabithia, Leslie never breaks character once. Even when a tree falls onto their treehouse she exclaims- “It’s a giant troll!!!” 
  • WATCH JOJO RABBIT OR READ THE BOOK INSTEAD!

Here’s a link to the trailer. Enjoy, that’ll make one of us!


 

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Jojo Rabbit (2019) Review

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Final Grades: ‘A’ 4/4

So, I just saw Jojo Rabbit. It was really, really good. Let me explain. I’m going to try not to spoil anything but the story is that a boy who’s part of The Hitler Youth finds a Jewish girl living in the attic and becomes her friend. Also, his imaginary friend is Hitler. The trailer explains it better. Click here to see it.
It’s all a very sweet movie. The background music (score) is a mix of classical and more contemporary rock. It works really well and it’s supported by the amazing child acting of Roman Griffin Davis (Jojo) and Archie Yates. Both British and both pour their heart and soul into these characters which results in a handful of really gut wrenching scenes. Among the other actors there are Scarlett Johansson, Stephen Merchant briefly, Rebel Wilson (making a rebound after Cats), and Taika Waititi (also the director), and so many others. FACT: Roman Griffin Davis won a Golden Globe for his portrayal as Jojo. It’s nice because he’s not a Nazi really. He’s 10 and “…just wants to be in a club.” Also, he can’t kill a rabbit. See the movie!

From a technical standpoint, Jojo Rabbit is very good. One scene in particular that I thought was really cool was when Archie Yates’ character sets off a bomb accidentally and it blows up a building. It’s hard to describe but it was used at The Oscars in Best Film Editing I think. It was definitely done well and so was the art direction, specifically in Berlin.
I think this is my favorite film of the year. I haven’t seen Parasite yet, but to be better than Jojo Rabbit, it’ll have to be really, really, really great.

Extra Notes: 

  • I can understand that people don’t like the some Nazis were nice angle and that’s my only problem with the movie.
  • The director, Taika Waititi, is Jewish himself.
  • “The table is Switzerland!” -Rosie (Scarlett Johansson)
  • I wonder if Roman Griffin Davis or Archie Yates will see this.
  • Davis’ 2 brothers had cameos in Jojo Rabbit. They were the Aryan clones that Jojo was supposed to walk.
  • They used a full boy’s choir for this movie. That’s cool…

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Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor (1936) Review

 

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GRADE (on the F- to A+ scale): A

Here is the Wikipedia page link.

This is one of the best cartoon/short films I’ve ever seen and definitely Fleisher’s  magnum opus. Let me back up a bit. Popeye Meets Sindbad (that’s what I’m going to call it now) is a 16 minute long Popeye short released by the Fleisher’s in 1936. It was voted the 17th best cartoon ever by “1000 animation professionals” in 1994 (the highest ranked Fleisher cartoon) and was also called “culturally significant” and saved by the library of congress. Yadda, yadda, yadda. How’s the cartoon? I’ll start from the ground up.

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The animation is wonderful, possibly the best part of the short. Much of it is 2d cels (clear plastic sheets with ink and paint) animated over live action backgrounds or, in the title card beginning stuff, vice versa. The other backgrounds are beautifully painted or airbrushed or watercolor and it works perfectly. It’s all gorgeous and highly detailed. Similarly to other cartoons of the 30s, the characters always move. The movements here are very fluid and lively. It’s all amazing.

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Another exceptional quality about Popeye Meets Sindbad is the dialogue and story. The former is charming and very funny and much of it is singing, and it’s still good. The voice of Popeye, Jack Mercer, improvises a lot and you have to re-watch the entire thing to catch them all. On another note the voice acting is very good and let’s all give a round of applause for Mae Quetsel who does Olive Oyl. The story is just as good as the dialogue. I like how the hero and villain are introduced through song. Sindbad’s number is longer so they can develop his villainous character more. There’s also a sub plot where Wimpy chases around a duck so he can kill and eat it. It’s touched upon in short little spurts which makes it all the more dark.

Oh yes, it does have it’s problems. Some little things don’t hold up as well. Olive Oyl being the damsel in distress, little things like that. Fortunately, it’s all overshadowed by amazing visuals, great characters, and a great script/story.

Extra Observations:

  • One of my favorite scenes is where Popeye gets taken away to a volcano by a giant vulture to the dismay of Olive Oyl. He returns seconds later with a giant cooked turkey:
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    See. 

    The Technicolor here is wonderful.

  • I invite you to check out the film for yourself, here it is below:

Hello, here it is. See it and stuff.


 

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Stand on Disney Live Action Remakes- Quickie

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I love 2d animation. I don’t think Disney understands the benefits of 2d animation themselves, and they’ve been in the industry for 95 years. To catch you up, CGI is used for realism and other things that would be harder to achieve with paper and pencil. Like large crowds or explosions. CGI tends to be stiffer and less expressive than it’s predecessor. 2d is good for over exaggerated faces and…well, just human emotion. May I also mention that the more real you make something, the creepier it gets. Have you ever heard of the uncanny valley? It’s when something looks very real, but there’s just something off about it that becomes disturbing. Just look at the new Lion King. I don’t want that thing to sing, it looks like it’s going to rip my face off. However this…

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…much better, thank you. I do know that the original used CGI mixed with hand drawn animation, but it did it well and was mostly 2d. They never let it get in the way of what the look they were going for.

So, in conclusion, to Disney, if you can’t respect the art form that made you successful in the first place, maybe you shouldn’t be making movies at all. And the critics agree as time progresses and the remakes become worse and worse.


 

 

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A Chicken Cartoon With An Anarchist Chicken

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By me: Huck            Year: 2019       Special thanks goes out to my oil pastels, pens, pencils, and Photoshop

Anarchist Chicken™. He’s a chicken that’s also an anarchist. I spent a while on this, so I hope you like it. May I mention he is also an anarchist chicken.

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He was in the back, that’s why you didn’t see him.

Click here for Anarchist Chicken merchandise.


 

Paused the Movie at the Right Time #1 or What Were the Animators Thinking or Look, I Wrote Something Again

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The Emoji Movie: A genuine work of art, a daring commentary on the reaction the film received. Hi-5’s look symbolizes the look people had when they found out a Pop-Eye movie was lost so The Emoji Movie could be made. Jailbreak’s maniacal face symbolizes how evil Sony is as an animation studio and how they reacted after it got an 8% on Rotten Tomatoes but still made back 300 million grand. Remember, someone had to draw this.

 

Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. 

Producers: It’s an animated retelling of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Tom and Jerry.                                                                                                                            Animators: Yes.                                                                                                                                       Producers: We expect it to make 100 million dollars. The animation we’ll really sell it, do you think you can do it.                                                                                                                  Animators: Suuuuuuuuuure.

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Tom and Jerry and The Wizard of Oz.  Each scene with the witch is golden. Good to know that the animators from the previous entry got work without getting blacklisted. Each scene with the witch is golden.

Titanic: The Legend Goes on. Done in a cave in the Himalayas on a budget on a crust of bread using pencils possessed by demons that they bought on the black market from a man on the FBI’s most wanted list and colored with the blood of various animals they shot with arrows made out of wooly mammoth bone. The story of how the film was made. I wanted to include the rapping dog but couldn’t.

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Foodfight. I had an entire movie to choose from, but with a shot this ugly I’ll let your imagination do the rest. It’s about animals fighting Nazis   “Brand X” in a supermarket, go off that. My eyes!


Thank you and good night!

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Toy Story 4 Review (Spoiler Hidden from View)

I didn’t go into this film with very high standards. It’s kind of hard to when the day before the premiere people online are complaining about how there is no need for another Toy Story and how the toys “got their happy ending,”. But I was surprised by the amazing animation, characters to get emotionally invested in, and a fairly decent story. I should start with the animation. There were times when I confused it with live action, about 35 minutes in there’s a shot of a cat that looks like they put a video of a real cat into the film. Supposedly, they animated each and every hair on that cat individually, around half a million.

All the characters are amazing as well, unlike in the other 3 movies there is no intrinsic evil or even a villain. The doll with the two henchmen staring menacingly into the camera is not a villain either, though it might seem so. She lives in an antique store and waits for the owners granddaughter to notice here and love her. (She says quote- “When my voice box is fixed I’ll finally have my chance.”) The worst thing she does is use Woody’s voice box to fix her own. Each toy I’m happy to say…

Spoiler:                                                                                                                                                                                                     Get's their happy ending, it's just so satisfying.

Pixar has a knack for making good characters and realistic villains when they need one.

Toy Story 4 also did me another favor: It made me hate The Emoji Movie even more. Both movies include toys or apps. Somehow, Toy Story 4 manages to avoid product placement that is too blatant. Even though Barbies and real toys are occasionally referenced. The Emoji Movie on the other hand uses such cliche tactics to sell it’s product. Eg. The product will get you the girl, an abused non conformist message, pathos without ethos or logos to back it up, etc. It’s good to have a company that cares more about the art form and the audience than selling something. Of course, Pixar wants to make money and a lot of it, just not as dirtily.

Overall I give this movie 9/10 stars.


 

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Response to Old Writing I Wrote Part 1

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Where do I begin. For starters, without the enormous, bloated picture, this would hardly be a paragraph long. I presume you’ve already read it. I misuse more than 1 word and my punctuation and grammar is sub par. I don’t know why I changed the font or colored certain words, but it provides nothing to the overall product. Also note how I described the pond to smell like “oxygen” and exclaim “wow what a view” (sic), or instead of using the word ‘say’, I use “quote”. Highlights:

  • “Many plants filled the leaf filled water.”
  • Number of grammatical errors: 10

 

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Animation Facts That I Find Interesting

Facts I find cool.

  • An average Peppa Pig episode costs 44k dollars to make. If each episode was as long as The Simpsons, it would cost around 176k dollars. An average Simpsons episode costs 700k. South Park costs 300k, nice work P.P., you are some how cheaper than South Park.
  • Interesting fact about South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker used construction paper because they couldn’t draw well. The pilot was done entirely with paper, it took 3 months.

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  • One last South Park fact. One way to get a movie rated X is to have 400 swears or over. South Park the movie has 399.
  • Bugs Bunny is the second cartoon character to receive a star on the Hollywood walk of fame, the first being Mickey Mouse.
  • The first times The Simpsons used computers for their animation was in season 8’s Treehouse of Horror (Vll). It was used to render spaceships in the second segment.
  • It took until season 13 for The Simpsons to transfer to digital coloring. Although they experimented with it it season 7 on Radioactive Man. Personally, regardless of the time or effort, I prefer paint and ink.
  • Each minute of Family Guy costs 100,000 dollars. The money could go to starving people but oh no, it has to go to Family Guy.
  • Animators purposefully put dirty jokes into their cartoons sometimes. Animation is a slow and tedious process, so as a kind of *&^@ you to the directors and producers they might put in something kinda naughty.
  • The South Park Movie was shown to Saddam Hussein when he was captured by American troops over and over again.
  • The alien language was decoded a couple years after it started airing. It prompted the creators to created a newer more complex language. That one was solved by fans too.
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Alien Language 1
  • Homer and Bart were the first Simpsons to show their yellow faces. Why? I don’t know, I do not care to research either.

Brain Dead Kid’s YouTube Videos

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A popular trend online are “Kinder Surprise Egg Videos”. They are almost exactly the same. Someone will have a bunch of Kinder eggs and open them one by one and show the toys to the viewer. Most of the time they don’t even talk. A lot of really little kids adore these videos, despite some of them being longer than an hour. A man who did a Ted Talk on this subject described them as “dope for little kid’s brains.” They garner hundreds of millions and views and challenge the mind about as much as a beige wall would. I’ve tried to watch one of these videos before but stop, I don’t want my life to go in that direction.

Among the other stuff YouTube creators offer. We have Peppa Pig. A show devoid of substance or good animation, CGI garbage that featuring songs that for all I know, are created by robots, and animations lacking so much of everything that they almost make me want to cry. They are an insult to the art form in my opinion. Here’s a pretty infamous example that I challenge you to watch.

Now you decide, is this wholesome entertainment that you’d show to your kid or family to emotionally challenge them or make them think?

Now really, how is it fair that thousands of good content creators go unnoticed while these videos, with their titles jam packed with the most commonly searched YouTube words and phrases, get all the attention. Keep in mind that the video above has almost 900 million views. Is this what you want your kids to be watching? Why don’t you send them to watch something good like Sesame Street the next time you need to do work without being bothered? Is that to much to ask?

#Keep_Little_Kids_Off_YouTube


 

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Review of The Simpsons’ Season 1

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A shot of Smithers in Homer’s Odyssey, he was accidentally colored black for one episode.

I have mixed feelings about this season. I’d give it a 6/10 tops. I think the writing is absolutely stupendous, the animation . . .well . . .to be nice, I’ll it’s B grade. I’ll get to that later. But first, the writing.

Season 1 has a lot of funny moments. It is a lot like “The Golden Years” (Season 2-8 but there are many variations on what they actually were) writing. It’s smooth, not clunky and genuinely funny. You’d think that the writing would be weird and immature like the first season of almost every other show in existence (except Futurama) but it’s not. Surprising actually. Unfortunately it’s matched with some uncanny animation.

And the animation, it can get scary sometimes. Repeatedly throughout the pilot episode, Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire, Homer’s head changes sizes and whenever somebody talks their mouth opens too wide. In one shot of Homer, he tries to look at something and his eyes go in different directions. Another scene I should bring up is the opening scene at the Christmas pageant. Lisa looks like she isn’t wearing any pants. The animators said she was supposed to be wearing a body stocking but they colored it wrong so it looks like here legs. Everything is jerky and fast and it’s no wonder the animator’s switched to a new studio in season 2.

If I had to give this season a rating, I’d give it a 6/10, I recommend it, it’s fine. I’ve definitely seen worse.


 

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My Thoughts on Various Controversial Cartoon Episodes Part 1

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Peter-assment: Family Guy. 2010: The News/controversy: In 2010, this controversial bit of media aired parodying Terri Schiavo, a woman who suffered a serious concussion and sunk into a vegetable like state for a few years before passing away. The episode features a musical number about her, quote calling her “…kind of alive-o,” and “…the most expensive plant you’ll ever see.” Many protested the episode feeling it discriminated against people with brain injuries. Terri’s brother even insisted that FOX cancel the show altogether. Ouch.

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Opinion: I have little respect for Family Guy. I haven’t watched anything but from reviews and Wikipedia pages, it comes across as a bunch of gags executed exactly like The Simpsons. I don’t care enough about Family Guy to stand up for them, not yet, that is.


Goo Goo Gai Pan: The Simpsons. 2005. The News/Controversy: Shortly after it aired, China banned this one episode where The Simpsons go to China to help Marge’s adopt a baby. It was found offensive for some stereotypes and Lisa openly supporting the Free Tibet Movement and is made fun of by the tour guide. I’m not entirely sure if it was released, but BBC says so.

My opinion: To see more, click this link. But in a nutshell, China is taking The Simpsons to seriously, have a sense of humor about yourself, guys.

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Trapped in the Closet: South Park. 2005. The News/Controversy. An episode that confronted Scientology and made fun of Tom Cruise’s bizarre personal life. It’s centered around Stan taking a personality test and getting such high scores that he is believed to be L. Ron Hubbard’s reincarnation. When Tom Cruise asks Stan about his acting career, Stan says that it’s just okay. Cruise is so ashamed that he locks himself in Stan’s closet and refuses to come out. It was so controversial that Tom Cruise would boycott Mission Impossible 3 if it was aired and The Church of Scientology launched an investigation to find incriminating information on Matt Stone and Trey Parker, but found none. There is even a name for this controversy: “Closet gate”.

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My Opinion: South Park has made such a name for itself that it’s no longer offensive. People often forget that. I also do not respect Scientology or Tom Cruise and think even littler of them after their unruly reaction to the episode. Do they have a sense of humor about themselves? No, probably not.


 

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In Depth Look at my Distaste For “She of Little Faith”

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This is definitely one of my least favorite episodes. I explained why once but my reasoning was shallow so I’m going to dive deeper into this episode and why I find it as lame as a beige wall. Besides it’s zombified writing, because that’s what we all expect from modern Simpsons.

The problem with this episode is how watery it is. Homer, once the well meaning yet dumb stereotype of a modern American man is this stuck up Christian that shames Lisa for becoming Buddhist. In fact, every Christian is this really stuck up egocentric shell of a person. Even Marge shames Lisa. It’s just so awful to see The Simpsons treat each other like that.

As for morals or social commentary, there is none. It could be an engaging episode about how our religions are being threatened by commercialism and corporate evil, but it chooses to take a lamer family friendly route where everything stays the same, nobody smartens up and it ends on Lisa demanding a pony from Marge. The rest of the family doesn’t change even, they still stay the blind warts that the episode and modern Simpson writing has morphed them into, distracted shortly by Lisa announcing she is still Buddhist, but she celebrates Christmas.

It all comes together to become this really shallow and watered down episode with no good writing or anything relevant to say. Hey writers, how about an episode where Moe gets a cellphone and that’s about it. Oh wait, you did that. I have lost all faith in humanity. Thanks.


 

Liberal Reacting to Trump Tweets

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Because I can and I will and they need reacting to. Note sarcasm sometimes.

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Where do I begin? First off, you are the most inept person ever to get ahold of an iphone. First off, Taco Bowls aren’t Hispanic. Tacos are Mexican and taco bowls are made by Americans, American’s thinking their Mexican, or something. Next, Cinco De Mayo is celebrated in Latin America, not in any Hispanic country. Third, it looks like you’re about to have sex with that taco bowl. Look in a mirror and do that smile, you’ll see what I mean.

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Duhh. . .I’m writing in all capitals. That makes what I’m saying true. I’m smrt! Don’t say I’m lying or I’ll tell my daddy and he’ll punch you’re daddy.

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A very intelligent Tabloid that I sponsored told me this. World’s best Tabloid.

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Comrades, this is our hour. Ze Mexican syocialists keelers are coming over our border and some don’t have jobs. Ve must sqvish them into the ground or they vill ruin our country because anyvone who isn’t EEmerican vill keel us. Just ‘cus. I veel not stand for thees. Syend the underpyayed troups. Vee shall fight! Eeeverywon must know EEEnglish or they traitor too gud capitaleest EEEMAriceen cuntry.

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I believe everything you’ve said, Fox. Believe me. You owe me one.

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Trump: Yeh, I’ve done a lot.                                                                                                                   Member of cabinet: Such as what, Mr. President.                                                                            Trump: I’ve tweeted over 3,000 times.                                                                                               Member of cabinet: Presidentially wise.                                                                                           Long Pause.                                                                                                                                              Trump: I’ve tweeted.

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Enjoy the fever dream while it lasts, Linda. I thought vacation was 1 day longer once, I’m sorry that’s over.

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AMERICA FIRST! Why? Because I said so, therefore, we’re the best. AMERICA FIRST!

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Ah, Lori Hendry. The one who evaded getting a ticket by saying her speedometer had been hacked by the Russians. Also she’s a rich snob who feeds off all the bile that Trump says, so it all kind of works.

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It draws attention away from my own sexual crimes.

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Answer: You prove their a creep who did all of that stuff. #Mueller Investigation.

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Made out of only the finest toothpicks the country has to offer. It’s tremendously more cost effective.

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I know where I’m going to get MY Halloween costume this year.

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Happy Holidays? Nah, can’t spell “Holidays”.

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What’s that noise? Is it, could it be? Justin Trudeau laughing?

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The microphone showed up uninvited, but we let him in because FAKE NEWS would blame us if we didn’t.

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Charlie Kirk, did your parents love you?

And Finally, the world’s worst Trump tweet to date . . .

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You’re making this too easy Trump. Sadly, the overwhelming amount of violent tweets in the government is committed by the president himself. A tough subject must be discussed.                                                                                                                                                  Did Fox tell you this, or are you just mentally insane? The latter, am I right?


 

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I’m Pretty Tired of Minions

 

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They were funny for a whole 3 seconds. Everybody had heard of them. They were the most commercially appealing thing on the market. They still are. Everybody thinks they’re CGI’s gift to the world, the new Katniss Everdeen. They are considered landmarks in animation and character, pure genius.

Ignoring the fact that they’re all the same. All just 1 dimensional yellow caricatures with nothing below the surface. They’re so generic that each one is an exact replica of the last. Smooth little yellow balls of energy that try to make you laugh out of you without even trying. Created in part by a multi billion dollar company set on getting more money than telling a story. Created by people who don’t realize that the word “Banana” isn’t funny, no matter how high pitched the voice. They’ll keep churning out movies with these . . . things . . .if it gets them money and an audience.

Meet Illumination’s  Minions.


 

Review of Bucky and Pepito, Forgotten TV Show from the 1950s

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Here are the links to all of the episodes plus theme song: Theme Song“The Coyote Catcher”, “The Vexin Texin”.

In 1959, about 3 dozen episodes of a new TV show created by Sam Singer aired. It was called Bucky and Pepito. They received some pretty terrible reviews and then floated away into oblivion. The creators didn’t renew the copyright, so 2 episodes are available online with no fear of ever being charged with copyright infringement. There are only 2 in arm’s reach. I saw both to write this review.

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Bucky and Pepito is extremely low quality and crude for the year 1959. I’ll start with the sound quality. They sound like something recorded on a flip phone in a loud room. But whatever, it gets worse.

Just look at them. Look at that animation. Nothing all to special about it, true, your average 50’s 1 dollar budget cartoon. Look at the colors, though, they look like they’re trapped between the outline of what they’re filling. I wonder if they afforded this with the weekly allowance from their parents.

Usually I can bare poor sound quality and animation if something worth my time is going on. Some good dialogue, you know. Unfortunately, Bucky and Pepito is as crass as you can get. Nothing smarter than “We can still catch him Pepito,” is ever said. Even the theme song can’t decide whether it wants to rhyme or not. So yeah, look elsewhere for something funny or entertaining. This show has about the depth of a SnapChat video.

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I have one more problem with this cartoon and that is the character Pepito. He speaks with this robotic “Mexican” accent that is clearly voiced by a white man. No one ever told the voice actor that loading your speech with the word “Senior” doesn’t constitute a Mexican accent. Not only that but he is often shown as not doing much and being kind of lazy, leaving his white counterpart to do most of the work while he stands around doing nothing. I’m kind of tired of all the Mexican characters wearing giant sombreros that cover their eyes, guys, it was never and will never be funny. I’ve seen better TV shows from garden moles.

Coming soon, from the creators of Bucky and Pepito it’s:

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Nor as poorly animated, just as racist, just as disappointing. How low can Sam Singer get?


 

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Review of a North Korean Propaganda Cartoon

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I have not yet found an official name for this cartoon. I researched a little and according to The Express it was made under Kim Il Sung’s Reign of North Korea sometime during the 1960s. No HD version of the cartoon in existence, nor is there an English translation for the one that is in my grasp. Here is what I figured out in terms of what is going on, the plot goes something like this:

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A kid is hunting in the woods. Is it legal? Probably not, but a boy has got to eat. He is clearly obsessed with the US military, and what kind of hurts is that a North Korean boy seems to love it more than I do personally. He runs into an agent sent by the government one of his friends who insists he do his homework (????????). He denies that school is of any importance but nonetheless, a couple scenes later we seem him at his desk at home doing his homework. He is so bored that he falls asleep. He has this dream that he is using his protractor and pencils as weapons to blow up incoming US Navy Ships. He hits every last one while a creepy Patriotic song plays in the background. And then for no reason he starts missing the ships. He wakes up to his friend in the doorway with a football. As you can see I kind of lost track of what happened. PLOT TWIST: Kim Il Sung comes down from the sky and tells him that it was not a dream and gives him a medal and  a whole lot of food.   

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Now for the review. What do I think of the animation? Eh, it’s weird. It does have some beautiful colors, but the human characters look so . . .I don’t know, they always move about the screen like they’re drunk. In fact, everything that moves does so really awkwardly, not just humans. The animators never pass up an opportunity to have something randomly change directions, or act like it can’t keep it’s balance, or even have something move, then STOP, then move again. It makes me question the size of their budget, or a whole lot of other things like how much experience the animators had, or even what their working conditions were like.

That’s how I felt about the animation. Now the film itself, Anti-US overtones and what it’s teaching kids in all it’s glory . . .I HATE IT. This is not a film about doing your homework, this is a creepy piece of propaganda aimed at teaching kids to kill people who have different beliefs or even live in countries that aren’t yours. It’s supposed to get North Korean children all hyped up about getting into the military later in life, and trying to get them to have hateful beliefs about other countries. Now that, that is inexcusable.


Quasi at the Quackadero (1975) Review

 

Final Grade: A-

I do believe this is one of the weirdest cartoons that I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It was written and animated by one person, Sally Cruikshank, in 1975 and the music (oh the music, I’ll get to that) was composed by Al Dodge and Bob Armstrong.

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Long story short, this is a 10 minute short about 3 characters that go to a psychedelic amusement park with robots and a bunch of other weird things like robots. I suppose the story is a good place to start. Remember how in my Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor Review I named a scene that I thought was funny and surreal enough to be my favorite. Well, I have like 10 for Quasi at the Quackadero. Just look at the screenshots above. My favorite is the roll back time machine where the character Rollo gets to see skyscrapers turn back into grass filled meadows. One could argue that the story is a little unfocused, but I like it. It always keeps your attention. It’s filled with nice little touches that make it very enjoyable.

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The characters and dialogue are very mean, but not so it’s unenjoyable. It’s more dark and funny than anything.

The animation is next up on our list and for the most part it’s very good. It’s pretty amazing that this was animated by one person. Even if it jitters a little bit it’s very colorful and stylized. I think you could turn the volume off and still enjoy it.

Oh, and the music. The weirdest part of the short by far. You know the phrase “music from hell,” or “music from heaven,”, this is music from purgatory no doubt. I like it but it’s so strange. It sounds like circus music if circus music was recorded from Sesame Street. I’m not even sure what instrument(s) it’s being played on. It is so, so, so weird.

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I believe that Quasi at the Quackadero is a very bizarre little cartoon. Definitely not for everyone, but dumb fun nonetheless.


Trivia: Quasi at the Quackadero was chosen by the library of congress (among many others) to be filed and preserved. It was also voted the 46th greatest cartoon of all time by 1000 animation expert people.

Futurama Movies Review

It’s been a while, hasn’t it. I’m back here now I am. I’m not going to write about the decade but instead review 4 direct to DVD films almost a decade old. I love the show, the movies are a mixed bag. No one thought they were great (except for the first), they did their job well enough despite mixed reviews from critics. Going from worst to best, here are my reviews of all 4:

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Let me set the record straight, I don’t hate any of these movies, I like them actually. This one is still the worst. Something you should know about these movies, when their jokes hit, they hit. When the miss, they miss. Bender’s Game is full of hits but that’s overshadowed by many misses. It just feels off putting the parody of The Lord of the Rings sometimes. It’s funny enough but so, so cynical. I don’t mind that as much, what gets me is the plot. It’s slow, sure, but it makes no sense. I understand, the writers really wanted to tell a fantasy epic, but with no real way to get there they came up with something about dark matter. Why did only Planet Express enter the other universe? I don’t know. I’m being to harsh on this movie. I didn’t hate it, it was entertaining enough, but it’s still problematic. Here’s a link to the wiki page for more information.


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This movie was a lot less cynical than Bender’s Game, and it would be higher if it wasn’t for the pacing. It’s kind of clunky. The Lovecraft monster from another universe, Yivo (played by David Cross), doesn’t appear until the beginning of part 3 and humanity doesn’t go to live with him until part 3 of the final part (I forgot to mention each movie was split up into 4 parts and shown on Comedy Central before being released to DVD). Despite this, the plot makes sense and all the subplots manage to connect at the end and the movie is funny enough. Each movie is a guilty pleasure. It’s funny what a little thing will do to a movie.


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Into the Wild Green Yonder starts on quite the high. A minute long Frank Sinatra style musical number, it’s very good but it’s sung by Seth MacFarlane. This sets the bar for the movie. A handful of good ideas spliced with a handful of bad ideas. There is a funny enough poker tournament but it doesn’t have an effect on the plot, it isn’t very tense either but I can live past that to an extent. It’s an engaging sci-fi epic with a race of beings hell bent on destroying an egg (violet dwarf star) and at the same time Amy’s (from Planet Express) dad is also on the way to destroy it for his mini golf course. All of that, however, can not escape debilitating gender jokes. You know, men=this, women=this. HAW! Even the sci-fi plot is strange, it could be explained more therefore building suspense but, it’s good enough I suppose. It also has the weirdest death scene ever where the character continues smiling until they keel over and die. They even manage to shout “I am dead, I am dead, eat only natural whole grain bread,” it is bizarre. I should also mention that this is the last movie. It pulls some neat tricks to remind us of that, they fly into a wormhole, Leela returns Fry’s love in full, and there is a scene shown below of every Futurama character ever. It doesn’t accomplish much but it’s nice for fans, like me. Here is the wiki link.

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I like this movie the best. Bender’s Big Score is the funniest of all and it’s emotional core is pretty legit. It’s everything a fan could want. It has nudist scammer aliens, time travel, Zoidberg, and 2 musical numbers that are fine. One could argue that the plot is kind of scattershot, I have to agree unfortunately but the rest of the movie is entertaining and that’s the same for each movie. This movie seems to be the fan favorite and it’s hard not to agree. The animation is pretty good as well, not as good as Into the Wild Green Yonder but it’s fluid and consistent and nice to look at. As movies go, it’s pretty good, but for the Futurama movies it’s the best. There is also a copy uploaded online, it’s at about 3/4 the original speed as the original and flipped. I suggest seeing it some other place, buying it perhaps. Memorable quotes:

  • “Well, if it isn’t handsome Lars and his fabulous jars.” -Fry. The way he says it is funny and many of the jokes in this movie are funny because they’re so, so, stupid.
  • “That is low Hermes, just because you don’t have a body doesn’t mean you don’t want anyone else to be prince of Nigeria.” -Zoidberg. He’s my favorite character.
  • “It’ll be fun on a bun.” -Bender
  • “I’ll start thinking about maybe saying sure.” -Leela

 

Woody Woodpecker the Movie Review

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Universal Studios Executive 1 (USE1):

How about instead of coming up with an original idea we capitalize on a cartoon that hasn’t been popular for 50 years. Instead of 2d animation we could use CGI. Woody Woodpecker the movie it would be called. 

USE2:

Remember the last time we tried that? We didn’t turn out so well. This just doesn’t seem like one of THOSE projects.

USE1:

I’ve got a grad student who’ll animate it. CGI animation isn’t that hard. It takes 10 minutes to animate a character, let me introduce you to the world of copy and pasting. You animate him once and everytime you need him in a similar position, you copy and paste. It’s that simple.

USE2:

Too noticeable.

USE1:

Camera angles, man, camera angles. If you don’t want him to be noticed, you just zoom out so he becomes really small. We’ll zoom in on him for absolutely no reason to balance things out too.

USE2:

How about a script? Do we have a script?

USE1:

I copied fan fiction from the internet and assembled it into a semi working, inoffensive, family friendly script. Kind of like a cento poem but not like a cento poem.  

USE2:

Okay, how about actors and a voice actor.

USE1:

I picked a guy up off the street, he’ll read his lines and I’ll feed them into a computer which’ll make it really high and low quality, just like the original cartoon. As for actors, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

USE2:

Music, sound effects, editing.

USE1:

We’ll use stock music, the sound effects will be downloaded from the internet just like the script, some guys overseas will probably edit it, I don’t know, not a top priority.

USE2:

Most important question: Will it make money? Woody Woodpecker hasn’t been popular for decades.

USE1:

We have a big Brazilian audience, the stupid bird remains popular down there for some reason. We’ll capitalize off Brazilians and Latin Americans growing stronger and stronger with all their precious dollars until we rule the world. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

USE2:

Sounds good, when will we begin?


And that my friends, is how Woody Woodpecker The Movie was pitched and made. It ended up bombing at the box office, it bombed critically, and from what I could tell wasn’t a huge success in Brazil either. So guys, if you want to make a movie, don’t do as Woody Woodpecker did or you’ll regret it. 1/10 stars.


 

 

 

Reviewing “Controversial” Google Doodles

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On Memorial Day in 2010, Google sported an American flag waving against a setting sun. Seems innocent enough, right? Unfortunately, staunch conservatives came out of the woodwork and complained that the flag covering the ‘e’ looked a lot like the crescent moon symbolizing the Islam Faith. They called it “hateful” or “evil”. Meanwhile, one internet blogger is pestered at how annoying everyone is getting lately and that there is no superior race or religion and you think you’re the best.

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It looks like Roald Dahl, Huck, what’s so controversial about honoring Roald Dahl? Nothing really, the timing was off on this one. It was posted on Rosh Hashanah and Roald Dahl was extremely Anti-Semitic saying stuff like (let me paraphrase) Even a stinker like Hitler wasn’t out of his mind to pick on them. (Jewish People.) The doodle was taken down at 2:00 PM after widespread criticism. I don’t have any strong feelings, it was just a mistake, in my opinion.

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In 2007 when this was released, a handful of conservatives resurfaced, angry that Google was commemorating Sputnik out of all things. Sputnik being launched by The Soviet Union. In a nutshell, I was born in 2007 and I guess people were looking for something to vent about.

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On international women’s day of 2018, Google took it upon themselves to celebrate. A blogger complained that this was sort of sexist stating that Google suggests representing women with flowers and bras. See the ‘g’. She went on to say that the ‘l’ and ‘o’ might as well be blood and tampon. Finally, she stated that father’s day is done with ties and mother’s day with flowers. I agree with her I have to say, it seems a little bit too conservative of old gender stereotypes for my liking. Click here to see the post itself.


 

Ranking Different Animation Styles from Best to Worst

Typical 2d animation and claymation. Whether it be South Park, The Simpsons, Futurama or Wes Anderson, it looks weathered and fantastic. Authentic and man made. It’s visually stunning and gives me hope for humanity. Kind of.

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Imitation. You know like in The Lego Movie they use CGI, except it looks like legos and they act like legos and move like legos. That’s imitation. It’s not the real thing, but looks like the real thing. It can be visually stunning but there is always this underlying feeling that this is all the work of a machine, not a human being.


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50 cents CGI throwaway. On our journeys through the internet we’ve encountered quite a few of these. Marked by their terrible textures that look like they were made by a kindergartner on Microsoft Paint. Usually they’re CGI, because I guess they think it’s hip or modern or something. Many times the characters step across the screen like they were copy and pasted on to the backgrounds and not actually there. They are riddled with animation errors. Usually the budget hovers around 200,000- 500,000 dollars. Let’s review the budgets for some other animated movies:

Wall E: 180 Million Dollars.                                                                                                                  Tangled: 260 Million Dollars.                                                                                                                Mulan: 70 Million Dollars.                                                                                                                    The Lion King: 45 Million Dollars.

The studios hope that at least 3 times the amount of their measly budget will be made. Most often, it doesn’t happen. Sorry.

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